There are moments of this experience where we can look up at the sky and feel an overwhelmingly amount of bliss & then there are times where we find ourselves closing our eyes wishing it would all go away as the pressure of “why?” continues to rise.
In the dance of contrast, we find ourselves dancing between moments of suffering & moments of complete serenity.
The irony here is that to feel joy, we must feel our pain. Feel deeper.
Without polarity we are numb, automatic, and give Zombie land a run for its money. I sat here in this space for a hot moment as I choked back my truth, and ignored the tugs from my soul. My fears of truly being seen and loved for who I truly was locked me in a box. Note to self: never again.
To dull your light is darkness…and ps. If you open your eyes or turn on the news the world sure as heck doesn’t need more of that right now. Pollute with love.
You are not alone in your pain, allow it to softly open you. Healing in one, is healing for all.
Purifying can be intentional & graceful – you know the juice cleanse, the digital detox, the 3 healers in a row jam out sesh & the shadowboxing rants with your ego on paper…whatever it looks like for you, LET IT OUT, and cleanse your mind, body and soul.
To become the light you have to un-ravel & transmute the beliefs & pop the emotional zits that aren’t serving you anymore.
For me, my biggest purifier was an un-intentional gateway into a ring of fire, the abyss of unknown and one hell of ride beyond the linear duality of the mind. Failure comes in many flavors, but they all hold incredible potential for growth. The invitation to dive into the inner planes of me was sparked by irrational & self-prophesying fears, a far from graceful fall from innocence, and an un-enlightened decision to go ahead and self-destruct — I met my maker — me, my thoughts, my narratives, and my folds. When the pain from being out of alignment becomes too great, we turn within.
I want to unfold.
I don’t want to stay folded anywhere,
because where I am folded, there I am a lie.
And I want my grasp of things
true before you. I want to describe myself
like a painting that I looked at
closely for a long time,
like a saying that I finally understood,
like the pitcher I use every day,
like the face of my mother,
like a ship
that took me safely
through the wildest storm of all. – Rilke
What we hold onto we grow, energize and validate in the feedback loop titled, Life. We have a choice here friends, to remain in blame & shame or reframe the pain. We are all doing the best we can with the information we have. Be gentle, and let it go.
Learn from it, it is an invitation into freedom, so utilize it for the blessing that it is – your fuel to grow.
**we can spend our whole lives in the prison of the past if we allow it to define us** meh. No thank you.
I remember nights and days that got swept away in the torrents of disgrace, shame, failure & blame. As these emotions pulled me down they re-instilled and energized the narratives that made me feel like the smallest particle on this planet. I wasn’t aware of the narratives on overdrive until my system shut down. I call it the “emotional black hole” – a time in my life where my inner world was complete & utter chaos. There was no light as far as my 5 senses could tell. As my world dimmed and my senses dulled, my soul whispered, “you aren’t alone, come home.”
The chaos going on in my mental realm during these times was ruled by the part of the brain known as the “Lizard Brain.” My amygdala, the command center that decides if you are in danger moment to moment or not was on complete overdrive as I ran from it all in 800 different directions. Chronic, repetitive & inflamed was an understatement. My body was running on temperatures that rivaled the Valley of Fire as I tried to shake the pain away. With white flags all around, I surrendered the small and fell into the all. In the steam, the seas of me, the stories, and the limitation began to surface & dissolve.
Self-preservation & Self-dissolution….oh, the dance between the two. At the end of the day the kernel of truth within each of us is a need to be truly seen. A gaze, the recognition of Light beyond the masks, the narratives, and all the wounds.
What narratives, beliefs, person, or circumstance are keeping you from changing and going out and creating a life you crave? Creation.
Dive in, allow yourself to feel, write it out, and bring up the light.
Our souls crave adventure, connection and growth – shake it loose, wife it up, flow and fly.
“If you bring forth what is inside you, what you bring forth will save you. If you don’t bring forth what is inside you, what you don’t bring forth will destroy you.” – Jesus
It might take 23 quantum leaps, 6 backflips, a few falls and 7,008 baby steps but I can guarantee you this, if you commit to you and that guiding voice within…the world shows up to meet you in ways that will shock you. Blaze your own trail.